Doritos Spicy Sweet Chili

I'm starting to see these everywhere now, so I don't know if they're as strange as some, but I haven't tried 'em so they're strange to me.  I shall allow it!  Some of my friends get these all the time, so I figure they can't be too bad, but who knows really.  Well... me... I'm about to know.

The bag is purple and they smell a little nacho cheese-y.  I also think the font changes on the bag are kinda silly... do spicy and sweet need to be different fonts?  I know they're different things.  It's okay, Doritos.

But what do they taste like?
At first a bit like nacho cheese.  Then there's an intense sweetness with some added spice to it.  These are actually a lot sweeter than I was expecting.  I think what's odd for me is how distinct the flavors are - the spicy is one thing and the sweet is another and they don't necessarily play well together.  It's like eating two chips in one.  I guess there's a bit of chili in the spicy, but I think these chips suffer a bit from 'sweet' and 'spicy' not being flavors.  So... yes.. they're sweet and spicy, but what am I tasting?

The sweet... is almost a bit like too sweet BBQ sauce?  And the spicy is that generic 'mouth burn' that seems to be found everywhere.  There's the tiniest bit of smokiness on the first bite, but after that it's the weird sweet/spicy combo.  The flavor also doesn't last super long - I'm left tasting plain Dorito after a few chews.

Honestly... I'm kinda disappointed with these.  I'm not sure what I thought they'd taste like, but these missed the mark for me.  I think it's the very sweet taste not mixing particularly well with the spicy that's throwing me off.  Perhaps if they were combined better, rather than two separate flavors? I'm not sure.  If you're really into sweet and also spicy then give these a shot, but I don't think I'll be switching from Cool Ranch.

Rating

Doritos Jumpin' Jack

As with the Doritos Tacos, these are in the weird throwback bag.  I'm not sure why since it looks weird.  I saw these in 7/11, which, all things considered, does a pretty good job of stocking strange chips, so I snagged a bag.

On first open, they remind me a lot of Cool Ranch Doritos (super delicious), so that's a good start.

But what do they taste like?
They taste a bit like pepper jack cheese, as you'd expect, since that's what the label says, but it's mostly 'Doritos chip' flavor.  More than anything else it's just salty with a little bit of kick (and when I say a little bit - it's barely there) from the cheese and... that's about it.  There's some weird 'cheese' sense when you first bite into it on some chips - I suspect it's on ones that were especially flavor blasted.  But, unfortunately it doesn't last for long and you're left with tortilla chip and spice flavor.

Do they taste good?  Sure!  Hard to go too far wrong with Doritos that taste like a chip, but is there some sort of magical awesome pepper jack cheese flavor going on?  No... not really.  I certainly wouldn't eat these and think 'ah yes, pepper jack flavored Doritos'.  It's like... a very mild Cool Ranch and maybe the slightest hint of pepper jack cheese.

So, while they taste fine, I wouldn't really go out of my way to get these.  I'd much prefer some Cool Ranch, or even regular Nacho flavor over these, just because it's a more distinct flavor.  All I get after these pepper jack chips is a tiny bit of mouth burn and tortilla chip taste.  And... that's kinda boring.  It seems like, unless the cheese flavor is 'nacho' Doritos is kinda out of its depth on cheese flavorings.

Rating

Doritos Jacked Ranch Dipped Hot Wings

It's a known fact that I think ranch dressing is pretty delicious.  It's also known that the best dipping sauce for buffalo wings is ranch dressing.  None of these other dressings for me.  It's safe to say that I am both pro ranch dressing, and pro buffalo wings.  Or, in this case, hot wings.  So I was pretty excited when I found these magic chips.  But also wary for, as I've learned, chips rarely taste like the two promised things.  It's one or the other.  How shall these fare?!

But what do they taste like?
Wow.  They actually taste a hell of a lot like ranch dipped hot wings.  They're not quite buffalo wings, because there's no chicken flavor really, but it's pretty close to eating a chip that's been dipped in some sort of strange 'ranch hot wing sauce' mix.  They're also practically neon with flavor - usually a good sign.  For these the flavor isn't super overpowering, but the flavor that lasts is the chemically hot wing taste, when I'd prefer to taste more ranch.  Another thing is that they're strangely thick chips, and way bigger than regular Doritos.  Is that a thing with JACKED chips?  It's a bit strange, since the chip flavor detracts from the ranch/hot wing flavor.  It seems to be a thing, since the bag says that they're 'bigger, bolder, thicker', but I honestly don't feel like that improves them.

The larger than average chips are kinda weird.  There are fewer chips in the bag, but simultaneously more calories than a usual bag of chips.  That's not a problem, but I think these can very easily be overeaten, since you feel like you've only eaten a few chips when really it's double normal size Doritos.  They're not too spicy, but they do have a bit of a kick, which you expect with hot wings sauce.

The flavor overall is nice, but it seems to taste best the first second you try it.  After that it gets pretty chemically.  I think I'd like these better if that first taste stuck.  The first taste is more ranch/wing, but it's very quickly overpowered by the chemical hot wing sauce.  Overall, these do actually have a ranch and hot wing sauce flavor, so props to Doritos for the 'dual flavor' chip, but they're deceptively big and taste pretty chemically the more you eat.  That and the neon seasoning requires extra napkins.

Rating

 

Doritos Blazin' Buffalo & Ranch

If you know me you may know that I think ranch is awesome.  On salad?  Sweet - best salad ever.  Dipping things in it?  Sup, buffalo wings, you're looking delicious.  Blue cheese?  No thanks - that's gross.  Check plus ranch dressing.  So, needless to say, when I saw these I decided I should buy them.  I would've preferred  a smaller bag in case these are awful, but they didn't have a smaller bag!  Of course, I ended up finding a smaller bag at a different store later in the week, but that's not the point.  I have these now.

Let's hope they're good because I have a ton of them.  First off - they look like regular cheese Doritos and kinda smell like them.  Not getting much of a buffalo or ranch smell.  The orange flavor dust is so orange it's nearly radioactive.  Exciting!

But what do they taste like?
Spicy.  But not buffalo wing spicy, like the Pringles Blastin' Buffalo Wing - it's more of a generic spice.  Maybe it's just me, but I'm not really tasting the buffalo or the ranch taste.  To be fair, it probably isn't easy to make one chip taste like two flavors, but I don't think they've quite done it.  The actual taste isn't obvious.  My mouth mostly just burns a little right now.  It really doesn't taste like much, weirdly.  Or, at least, not of buffalo wings or ranch.

They don't taste bad - Doritos rarely do, but they're also very much not buffalo wings and ranch which is kinda strange since some of them are nearly neon with flavor.  They're a bit spicy and mouth burn-y, but not really anything more than that.

As far as wanting something that tastes like buffalo wings or ranch these definitely miss the mark.  That being said, they don't taste bad necessarily... they're pretty much just mildly spicy nacho Doritos that don't quite taste like cheese.  Weird.

Rating

Doritos Dinamita Chile Limon

I found these at 7/11 and decided to give them a shot!  It's confusing because the bag is small, but really heavy and it's more calories than most bags this size.  I'm not really sure what to expect from these, but hopefully they won't be too spicy.

When I open the bag everything is just redish purple.  Everything.  I have never seen this color found in nature.  What... why are these tubular?  I don't understand why someone shaped these like this! Doritos should be triangular!  And not violent purpleish!

But what do they taste like?
There's a strong spicy lemony/limey flavor that takes a minute to hit, but then burns your mouth for a bit.  It stays pretty strong actually.  I'm mostly just confused... why are these so purple?!  These should be chile limon flavored, no?  Where does purple factor in?  I'm also really not feeling the rolled chip.  When I eat Doritos I want to eat Doritos, not weirdly rolled Doritos type things.  It's a pity that the flavor is so painful because it's actually kind of good for a few seconds.  Had they been more mild I think I could have enjoyed them.  As is, the spice level isn't worth it for me.

It's really a very strong limon-y flavor, too.  It keeps burning my mouth and the back of my throat.  Water doesn't help it go away and it's a bit painful.  I can see people liking this if they're fans of spicy and chile limon flavored things, but the rolled shape and purple color might be off-putting for some.  They definitely taste like what I'd expect spicy chile limon would taste like and if you like that, I'd give these a shot.  Ignore the bright purple rolled weirdness.

Even after I've stopped eating the chips, had some water, and finished writing this my mouth is still burning.  The fact that I do like the flavor for the split second before the spiciness sets in gets these a star, but otherwise... not for me, Doritos.

Rating:

Doritos Tacos

I saw these Taco Doritos and knew I had to try them.  I also didn't buy them when I first saw them and then never saw them again.  Until today!  Glorious today!  In their weird throwback bag and their promise of tasting like a taco... I was smitten.  I'm still not clear on why the bag looks the way it does.  It reminds me of the generic ye olden times chip bags you see in movies.

But what do they taste like?
They pretty much taste like a taco with the flavor of the meat, but no meat.  You know that extra shell you found sitting in the sad pile of beef that tumbled out of the taco?  That's what these chips are.  Luckily for me I like that last weird shell and I like these chips.

They're not taco flavored really.  It's more ground beef and shell and taco seasoning.  It's like half a taco, but missing all the things that truly make it a taco like cheese and sour cream and lettuce and tomatoes.  Actually, the more of them I eat, the less they taste like a taco and they already basically weren't tasting like one to begin with.  Except for the one I just ate that was covered in seasoning... that one tasted like taco spices.  And that's disappointing given how long I'd spent searching for them!

If you're the one who wants your tacos plain then you'll probably like these chips.  Actually, I think most people will like them.  The flavor is pretty mild and it's not overwhelmingly taco-y.  My bet is you won't taste this and say 'my god this tastes like a taco'.  What you will say, probably, is 'wow it tastes like they flavored these chips with a bag of taco seasoning!'

Rating: