Marmite Flavour Potato Crisps

I'll be honest.  I'm terrified.  I don't like Vegemite (and I've tried it properly with a friend who likes it fixing me a sandwich of it) and I don't like Marmite.  Even my friends who like Vegemite don't like Marmite.  But here these chips sit.  Mocking me.

Bag open.  They smell awful.  They smell like Marmite I guess.  Potent.  It smells like an old shoe maybe?  I'm trying not to be biased against these from the start, but the smell is really not helping here.  Ok... here it goes nothin.

But what do they taste like?
I picked one without a lot of Marmite flavor on it and mostly tasted chip.  Tolerable.  A bit like eating weird tasting cardboard I'd imagine.  Time to stop mucking about - I'm going to try one that's covered in flavor.  It's not as bad as I thought, but it's not nice either.  And the chips themselves weirdly disintegrate as you eat them.  I'm actually shocked at how not awful these are.  But, let's not kid ourselves here - I am never eating them again after this.

They're very salty for the first bit and then weirdly bland.  Rarely eating Marmite, I can't verify if these taste all that much like it, but I don't think they do.  I remember a strong dislike of Marmite and I can't even muster up the energy to dislike these.  I really expected to have my socks knocked off with horrible flavors and these were just pretty meh.

Is it weird to be disappointed that chips weren't worse?  Maybe.  There's something very unappealing about the first bite - the way that weird cardboard-y flavor just hits you.  They're not as bad after a bit though - it's mostly just a weird savory salt taste that's not particularly appealing.  I could stomach eating more than one, so they don't get a 0, but barely.

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Deep River Snacks Zesty Jalapeno

More Deep River chips courtesy of my mom who spotted them and snagged them for me.  Today's chip is the Zesty Jalapeno flavor.  I've never tried Jalapeno chips before (zesty or otherwise) so it'll be an interesting experience.  I like spice if it's the right spice - flavorful, not just painful.

They don't smell like anything much, but as I've learned, that doesn't always mean much.  They seem almost a sickly green color and have weird brown speckles on them.  Excellent!

But what do they taste like?
It just tastes like spicy nothingness.  Ow.  Nothing that burns my mouth.  Ow.  These are definitely spicy, but they don't have any sort of flavor at the same time.  It's very disconcerting!   And it's burning my mouth still.  I only tried one chip to start and there's still spicy pain everywhere.  I wish I had more to describe about these, but the only defining feature at the moment is that they 'are quite spicy'.

I keep eating them in the hopes that I'll taste something else, but these is really nothing to these other than that they are extremely spicy.  I can't keep eating these - they're burning my mouth and it's the kind of burn that will probably last for a bit, too.  It's like Deep River decided 'Jalapenos are spicy... ok that's thinking enough - put these into production!' because it is just spice.

I'm not sure what other Zesty Jalapeno chips taste like, but if they're anything like this then I'm pretty disappointed.  These were definitely not the chips for me, though I do like the kettle cooked crunchiness that Deep River has going on.

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Southern Recipe Original Pork Rinds

It's Thursday and that means it's time for something that's not quite a chip, but is still rather strange!  Dudes, I have no idea what to expect right now.  Like many people, I consider bacon to be pretty freakin delicious.  It's majestic.  In fact, why aren't there more bacon flavored chips?  I'd buy those in a second!  But, back to the point: bacon = magnificent.  Bacon comes from pigs, as do pork rinds, so I'm hoping to find some similarity.  I'm expecting to taste mostly salt, though, and maybe some pork flavor?  I really have no idea - that's one of the reasons I'm looking forward to trying these.

It's not starting off well.  They smell unpleasant.  I can't say I'm surprised since this is a bag of pork rinds, but I'm disappointed.  I had high hopes for this bacon substitute.  It smells like fried...something, but definitely not pork.  Some of them look really weird, too - one has bits of red on it.  I don't think I'll be eating those ones.

But what do they taste like? 
Not at all what I expected.  At first bite they taste kind of like what I expect styrofoam would taste like and then there's a weird taste.  Not sure exactly what it is - it's like a mild taste of 'fried nothing' and then the rinds practically disintegrate.  Before you take more than a couple bites, the rinds sort of melt into a gritty sludge in your mouth.  These are just overall unpleasant. I've only had a few of them, but I already know I won't be finishing this bag.  Into the trash they'll go.  I've heard of ones you can microwave and maybe those are better, but these are decidedly subpar.

Luckily they only cost a dollar.  People actually enjoy these?  I know this is a short review, but there really isn't much to say about these.  They taste pretty blah, aren't enjoyable to eat, and smell weird.  Overall a rousing 'bleh' for the pork rinds.

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