Doritos Jacked Ranch Dipped Hot Wings

It's a known fact that I think ranch dressing is pretty delicious.  It's also known that the best dipping sauce for buffalo wings is ranch dressing.  None of these other dressings for me.  It's safe to say that I am both pro ranch dressing, and pro buffalo wings.  Or, in this case, hot wings.  So I was pretty excited when I found these magic chips.  But also wary for, as I've learned, chips rarely taste like the two promised things.  It's one or the other.  How shall these fare?!

But what do they taste like?
Wow.  They actually taste a hell of a lot like ranch dipped hot wings.  They're not quite buffalo wings, because there's no chicken flavor really, but it's pretty close to eating a chip that's been dipped in some sort of strange 'ranch hot wing sauce' mix.  They're also practically neon with flavor - usually a good sign.  For these the flavor isn't super overpowering, but the flavor that lasts is the chemically hot wing taste, when I'd prefer to taste more ranch.  Another thing is that they're strangely thick chips, and way bigger than regular Doritos.  Is that a thing with JACKED chips?  It's a bit strange, since the chip flavor detracts from the ranch/hot wing flavor.  It seems to be a thing, since the bag says that they're 'bigger, bolder, thicker', but I honestly don't feel like that improves them.

The larger than average chips are kinda weird.  There are fewer chips in the bag, but simultaneously more calories than a usual bag of chips.  That's not a problem, but I think these can very easily be overeaten, since you feel like you've only eaten a few chips when really it's double normal size Doritos.  They're not too spicy, but they do have a bit of a kick, which you expect with hot wings sauce.

The flavor overall is nice, but it seems to taste best the first second you try it.  After that it gets pretty chemically.  I think I'd like these better if that first taste stuck.  The first taste is more ranch/wing, but it's very quickly overpowered by the chemical hot wing sauce.  Overall, these do actually have a ranch and hot wing sauce flavor, so props to Doritos for the 'dual flavor' chip, but they're deceptively big and taste pretty chemically the more you eat.  That and the neon seasoning requires extra napkins.

Rating

 

Lay's Chicken & Waffles

In the same grouping as Lay's Cheesy Garlic Bread, we have these... Lay's Chicken & Waffles.  I don't want to speak poorly of them before trying them, as I do enjoy chicken and waffles... sometimes even chicken and waffles combined, but... in a chip?  What?  But... why?  Do people really enjoy them so much that this was a top three front-runner for the new flavor?

 Also, given my experience with multi-flavor chips only really having one main flavor, I'm unsure if I'll taste chicken or waffle or some magical combination of the two.  Who can say?  I can because I'm about to try them.

But what do they taste like?
They taste a lot like how they smell which is 'syrup-y'.  Not much chicken or waffle in fact.  It's mostly syrup that I'm tasting.  And... I guess, to be fair, if you're eating chicken and waffles and you put maple syrup on them then that's pretty much all you're going to taste.  But... if you advertise chicken and waffles then I kinda expect to at least taste some chicken or waffles and not just the topping.  I think the big problem is that they're thinking too big.  Make one flavor really good - not this weird mix of two flavors that completely fails at tasting like either.

There's something little bit... smokey... about them, which I guess could be argued as the 'chicken' flavor, but I don't think it really qualifies.  I had chicken chips in Australia and those often tasted like chicken - with this I don't get much chicken flavor at all.  These really mostly taste like syrup and it's a little disappointing.  I was promised several flavors, and I'm just not seeing it.

There's something weird about eating syrup flavored potato chips that I don't think requires a repeat.  These are a novelty, sure, but nothing more.  I certainly hope they don't win the flavor war, or, if they do, are branded just as syrup chips because that's what they are.  The hunt continues for the Sriracha flavored chips, but until then, the Cheesy Garlic Bread is the winner, even though they weren't all that great either.  Still... these aren't awful, they're just very syrup-y.

Rating

Lay's Cheesy Garlic Bread

So Lay's is doing this promotion I guess where they have three new chip flavors: Chicken and Waffles, Cheesy Garlic Bread and Sriracha.  We, the American people, get to decide which is chosen!  These are Cheesy Garlic Bread and I'm excited.  I love a good garlic bread, especially the cheesy sort.

But... the smell isn't particularly cheesy or garlic bread-y.  They smell more like plain chips than anything, and there are no seasoning nibblies on it.  This isn't super promising.

But what do they taste like?
Garlic-y.  Actually... these are pretty good.  They don't do the cheesy part well, but they do the base garlic bread part well I think.  I'm actually pretty impressed that they taste like garlic bread, and not just garlic.  But, the problem is that they rarely taste like garlic bread.  Maybe it's the lack of seasonings that keeps these from having a stronger flavor, which is disappointing because the flavor that's there is tasty.  This tastes a bit butter-y, too.  Yummy!  There's now a stronger flavor of buttery bread than garlic and cheese.

Buuuut, the big problem is that the flavor just isn't that strong.  I'd imagine that with the Chicken and Waffles chips I'll appreciate a lack of flavor, but cheesy garlic bread is delicious!  Why hide this flavor with potato chip flavor?

Bottom line?  These are pretty good, but they just don't pack much of a punch for me.  What I'd like to see is actual, powerful garlic bread flavor.  That sounds delicious!  I want this chip flavor times three or four.  And maybe some actual cheese taste, too.  That'd be nice.

Rating

Lays Garden Tomato & Basil

I've seen these around enough that I'm not sure they're 'strange' anymore, but I can only find them at a few places (Duane Reade being one of them) and I've never tried them so I pronounce them: 'strange chips'.  And now I shall eat them!  I'm not sure how the 'garden' bit factors in... perhaps these are certified organic?

But what do they taste like?
Tastes tomato-y and basil-y, but not super strongly of either.  There's a satisfying tomato taste at the first bite, and then the basil follows, but it disappears pretty quickly after that.  Where do you go, flavor?  Has someone stolen you?  For the most part these taste a bit like they have tomato paste on them... not quite tomatoes, but something a bit chemically.  This works well for me as I love the taste of tomato paste, but it's perhaps misleading from the bag.  I am not tasting garden fresh tomatoes, Lay's!

Are they bad?  No, certainly not.  Are they good?  Yeah, they're pretty good.  Would I seek them out again?  Ehhhh - if it was the choice between that and plain Lay's then sure.  If I had other options?  Probably not.  They taste kinda like a tomato-y BBQ chip almost, but the regular Lay's BBQ chips are better... stronger.  These are pretty mild, and if you like tomato or basil I suspect you'll like these.  If you're looking for something that will punch you in the face with flavors then you'll probably do better elsewhere.

Rating

Walkers Tomato Ketchup

I've found that I kinda like ketchup flavored chips so I'm pretty excited for these.  They certainly smell ketchup-y.  I'm a bit confused by the added 'tomato' in the title... what other sort of ketchup would it be?  I'm quite sure I don't know.

Bag is pretty basic and pink-ish which I guess stands for... ketchup?

But what do they taste like?
Wow salty.  Not in a bad way, but surprising.  They're salty and have the tanginess of ketchup without all of the tomato flavor.  It's an odd mix.  It tastes a bit like what I'd imagine the clear stuff that sometimes comes out of the ketchup bottle would taste like.  They're also a bit deceptive, as they don't look particularly ketchup-y, but, in fact, they are!  Mysterious.

Tangy is definitely the word I'd use to describe these.  I happen to like tangy, so I like these just fine, but I can see someone expecting a more traditional 'ketchup' flavor being confused.  Do I like 'em?  Sure!  They're ketchup chips and those are neat.  I don't remember much about the Lays version, but I'd be interested in comparing the two.  Which ketchup chip is supreme!?  Who knows?!

Rating

Kettle Honey Dijon

Honey dijon seems like such a weirdly specific chip flavor.  Not just honey mustard, but honey dijon.  That distinction is maybe important.  Equally possible that it's not important!  I also like how the bag is very very orange.  It's like a pumpkin.  So festive.

The bag is pretty small, and there are even fewer chips.  Not off to the best start if these are delicious.  But, on the other hand, if they're terrible... I don't have to eat as many!

But what do they taste like?
Very strongly of honey mustard.  And... maybe a little dijon?  There's a kick to this honey mustard, but it is definitely honey mustard.  The only problem is that Kettle chips tend to be weirdly greasy in an unpleasant way.  I always feel like I need to wipe my hands after every chip.  They are pretty salty as well which I enjoy.

Sometimes the flavor seems to be a little inconsistent - some chips have a very strong taste and others less so.  It is a very sweet honey mustard for the most part - there's a bit of a bite, but it's mostly pretty mellow.  I wish they weren't greasy kettle chips, but the flavor's tasty!  Would buy again, but only if I had napkins on hand to get rid of the grease.  Tooooo greasy.

Rating

Walkers Quavers

Billed as a 'light curly potato snack' I somehow thought these would be like Cheetos.  They are not!  Well - they might be taste-wise, but they aren't shape...wise.  Got these at the British shop where I've purchased some other goodies.  Actually... I probably need to go back soon.  Anyway - these are 'cheese flavour' so I expect these will taste like cheese.

Off the bat - I was confused by the shape.  They look like Fritos, but smell like Cheetos!  How do they do such sorcery?

But what do they taste like?
A little, and not unpleasantly, like a cheese Funyun.  And... I'm kinda okay with that.  It's like a Funyun without all the little nibblies that fall off of it, and with a hint of cheese.  Salty, yet a little savory, but mostly salty.  The cheese is pretty fake tasting, but that's to be expected really.

Eating them is noisy, but the actual chip isn't hard - it's rather soft.  They're also weird shapes which is fun, but sometimes hard to grab a handful as bits fall off.  I mostly taste salt over cheese, but hey - I am a big fan of salt, so that's no problem for me.  I think I'd like these better if they were cheesier (hey - they're cheese flavour - I want what I pay for), but I am rather fond of them.

I'd definitely get these again, despite the cheese tasting a little chemically.  There's something fun about eating them and how noisy they are while also being delicious.  They're almost a little too salty, but not enough that it bothers me.

Rating

Mike Sells Green Onion

Weirdly named, but hopefully delicious... I bought these in an airport in Ohio.  Apparently they're delicious and well known in the region (and possibly more places!  I don't know!), but I'd never heard of them.  Still... I am a big fan of sour cream and onion chips, so I can only hope green onion is equally delicious.  I don't usually eat green onions so... not sure what to expect here.

I kinda expected them to have ridges, but I'm not sure why.  They do not, in fact, have ridges.  They also don't have a lot of seasoning nibblies on them.  I hope they still have flavor!  Also, I dropped a bunch right before I started this review and I'm sad now.

But how do they taste?
Salty and onion-y.  I'd prefer they be stronger actually.  Well - that the onion be a little stronger cuz they mostly taste salty.  I like the flavor, but it just doesn't pack enough of a punch for me.  Where is the green onion?  It's kinda there, but it's also not there.  I like my chips to have a lot of flavor and these are just kinda lacking.  The taste that's there is good and I definitely like them, but I'd like them a lot better if there was less salt and more onion.

 

It might be kinda silly, but I wish these had more onion nibblies on them as well.  At first glance it seems like they're plain and some seasoning got on one or two by accident.  It don't know if the reason why they taste more like salt than onion, but there's no way to be sure.

To sum it up... these are good chips, but pretty uninteresting.  I'd get 'em again sure, because they' basically sour cream and onion with more salt than sour cream, but will I crave Mike Sells brand?  Probably not.

Rating

Ruffles Cheddar & Sour Cream

I've seen these around enough places that I'm not sure they qualify as 'strange', but I've never tried them before so I think that counts.  I usually don't like Ruffles that much (at least compared to other, similarly flavored chips) because they always taste greasy I think.  But... here goes nothin!

At first look they're practically neon which is a little unappealing.  I usually think of Cheetos as radioactive, but I suppose these are too.

But what do they taste like?
Wow.  They taste exactly like cheddar and sour cream, but also Ruffles.  Maybe off brand sour cream.  Or sour cream that's nearly past its prime?  They're pretty good, though.  They don't taste as greasy as Ruffles usually do which is a major plus.  It's just that the sour cream tastes a little off.  I realize that it's not actually sour cream so it doesn't matter, but a tiny part of me thinks 'wait... has this sour cream gone bad?'.  Maybe I just don't eat sour cream enough to know the taste properly?

Still... these taste pretty good.  It's kinda like I'm eating Ruffles that I've dipped in sour cream, but without needing a dip on hand.  The cheddar flavor is pretty subtle - kinda overpowered by the sour cream, but it's there.  I think these would be better with a stronger cheese to sour cream ratio maybe.  I dunno, but I am impressed how spot on the flavor is.  It's not the best cheddar or the best sour cream, but it does taste like what it says on the bag, plus a weird chemically flavor that I've come to expect from Ruffles.  Would buy again, but not often I think.

Rating

Bissli Falafel Flavor Wheat Party Snack

I have no idea what these are.  Well... that's not entirely true.  My friend got these for me (thanks!), but they're falafel flavored wheat party snacks.  So... I understand what they are, but not how they came to be I suppose.  Was there a falafel shaped hole in the chip market?  Evidently.  I do like falafel so these could be pretty delicious!

First thoughts: they're like the nibbles that go on top of salads.

But what do they taste like?
They taste a lot like falafel actually, but they're far crunchier than I thought they'd be.  And a little saltier, which is never a bad thing.  But these actually do a pretty good job of tasting like falafel!  It's just the super crunchiness that's a little weird.  I expect something that tastes so much like falafel to be softer I guess?

Otherwise these are pretty good!  If you don't like falafel you won't like these either because its' really kinda amazing how much they taste like an actual falafel.  They are truly falafel flavored.  I do wish that they weren't so crunchy, but otherwise I'd eat them again.

I guess the biggest problem is that they have a very specific flavor.  Most chips I'm happy to eat whenever, but these I feel like I'd need to want to eat falafel.  Oh man - I just realized... I bet these would go great with humus.  Anyway... if you like falafel and happen to see these weird chip type things... give 'em a shot!

Rating