Barcel Mini Takis Fuego

Sorry for the delay on this!  Christmas had me all tied up, and I missed my usual Tuesday post.  So... here's a Wednesday post?  I bought these the same place I bought last week's Barcel Chipotles Chipotle & Cheese, as they seemed intriguing and were a small bag so if they're crap then hey - at least there aren't many.

At first glance these seem pretty much exactly like the Doritos Dinamita Chile Limon chips I tried a few months ago.  I've also, via the internet, discovered the Fuego means fire?  Apparently I'm in for some mouth burn-y ness.  Hooray?  I should've known when the bag said it was a 'hot chili pepper & lime flavored corn snack'.

But what do they taste like?
Not fiery pain at first - they're actually pretty good.  A very lime-y type thing going on.  But then the pain.  Ow - it was so strong I actually coughed, just because what else was there to go?!  Trying again.  A bit better this time, but then as soon as I try to actually eat the chip, rather than just chew it, it burns my throat something fierce.  Spike-y bits of ow that still make me cough.  There's kinda... no way around it which is a bummer, as I like how they taste.  Even the mouth burn I'm getting isn't unpleasant... it's just the fact that I can't actually eat them without my throat hurting.  It's a bit better with each subsequent chip, but it still hurts.

At first bite they actually taste a lot like Fritos and then there's a kinda nice chili-lime flavor, but then I try to swallow and pain.  I can't eat these in polite company, or in any company for that matter!  I'd just be sitting there coughing, with my eyes watering and my nose running.  That sounds super appealing, no?

The problem is... I actually kinda like the flavor.  Despite the pain... I keep eating them.  It helps a little to take a drink of water while eating, which kinda dilutes it, but defeats the purpose of a chip really.  So, while I like the flavor, I can't eat them without coughing and having mouth pain so I can't really rate these highly.  Still... I do like the flavor if only it didn't try to hurt me.

Rating

 

Barcel Chipotles Chipotle & Cheese

I saw these chips in several different stores, in equally battered bags, before finally finding a not destroyed bag in Brooklyn.  Am I excited to try these?  Not... particularly.  The cheese appears to be Swiss, which I'm not a huge fan of, and the chipotle part of it seems to just be a wrinkly pepper.  Awesome.  BUT!  I am trying these chips for SCIENCE!  Not to enjoy them!  Okay... sometimes to enjoy them.

These are corn chips, which I only realized when I dumped them onto the plate.  It says on the bag, but I apparently chose to ignore it.  I'm unsure why they're corn chips, or if it will make for a better experience.  I suppose we shall see.  Some of the chips are covered in the seasoning, while others seem to be a bit skimpy.  As far as the smell... have you had Japanese seaweed salad?  They smell kinda like that.  Promising!

But what do they taste like?
Very corn chip-y.  Then there's the painful spice, but it's more of a spicy salsa burn, rather than just pain (which I've found in other chips).  On the first bite I actually taste a slight hint of the cheese and it actually tastes a little like Swiss.   Well done, bag designer.  You know... weirdly, and despite making my eyes water a little, I kinda like these.  Yeah, they're painful, but the flavor is kinda working for me.  There's sort of a... smoothness, that I expect is the 'cheese' part and then a pretty strong spice kick that's the chipotle.  But it's more than just spice - it's spice with flavor.  Weirdly, the first flavor I taste each bite is a bit like what it smells like which is still that strange seaweed salad flavor.  Not super appealing, but it gets better from there.

Also, they're kinda shaped like apostrophes, so that's fun!  I do, in fact, think the corn chip helps these out.  There's something nice about the solid chip with all this spiciness, instead of something flimsy.  I wasn't kidding about my eyes watering, by the way.  They totally are.  And yet... I keep eating these because, pain aside, they actually taste pretty good.  I don't think I'd get them often, as they are kinda really hurting my mouth, but I'd eat them again, assuming I had some tissues handy.

Rating

Kettle Buffalo Bleu

So here's the thing.  I loves me some buffalo wings.  But... and here's the critical bit... I love them dipped in ranch dressing.  None of this bleu cheese with its weird mold veins.  No thank you, sir.  BUT!  My friend said these were super good and even suggested I might enjoy them!  With a recommendation like that, how could I resist?

Kettle bags seem to be pretty small, I've noticed.  While other brands (Lays, for one) seem to be making even bigger 'regular' size bags, Kettle seems perfectly content to keep their little brown bag.  More power to you, Kettle!  They certainly don't smell like bleu cheese or buffalo wings.  They smell like... something, though.  What is it?  I'm not sure, but I don't feel positive about it.  Also... why are there green nibblies?  Green nibblies makes me think sour cream and onion!  Oh, chips... you're not off to a good start.

But what do they taste like?
Not like buffalo or bleu.  They're also pretty thick chips which makes them annoyingly hard and very loud to chew.  Kettle cooked chips should be thin, otherwise you run into this issue!  Right right, but the taste.  I've only had one chip and already the roof of my mouth is tingly burning.  It's not unpleasant, but it doesn't taste like anything either.  I really have no idea what Kettle was going for with these.  They don't taste like buffalo or bleu.  They taste more like grease and spicy.  I'm just sort of mindlessly eating them at this point.

If you like Kettle chips of mysterious flavors then perhaps you'll like these?  Otherwise... I'd stick with a different chip.

Rating

Nathan's Honey Mustard Crunchy Crinkle Fries

I don't eat Nathan's fries (or Nathan's at all for that matter) that often, but when I do I usually douse them in fake cheese because fake cheese improves 78% of foods (science fact!).  I don't think I've ever had Nathan's honey mustard fries.  I don't even know if they exist outside of this bag.  The bag also tells me that it's 'all about the crunch' which I feel is not the case with french fries.  Clearly these are some hybrid chip fries.

But what do they taste like?
Not like french fries, that's for sure.  And not like any good honey mustard.  The chips themselves are like... super dense Cheetos.  The problem is... when you get this dense it kinda feels a bit like what I'd expect eating styrofoam would feel like.  The flavor.  The flavor is that really crappy brand of honey mustard... the one that almost tastes more like mayo?  You know the one.  The chips themselves are well seasoned and strongly flavored... the problem is that I don't much care for the flavor.

I also don't see any reason for these to be crinkle cut fries.  Other than their shape they're nothing like fries!  I suppose Nathan's wanted to get into the lucrative chip market and decided to make chips of their products.  Hot dog chips... probably wouldn't work as well.  The problem with such a think 'chip' (fry?) is that the flavoring, while strong on the outside, is nonexistent on the inside of the chip which makes sense, but also makes for a blander flavor.

I see no need to ever eat these again, as their flavor isn't great and I certainly wouldn't want to dip them in anything.  If you like that weird honey mustard, though... you might like these?

Rating